Forgotten Soul
by XXDarkXAngelXX
Summary: Bella's parents were murdered, now after a year in foster care she is sent to live with her biological father, whom she has never met. She wants her life to end but wnt do it herself, will her fellings change once she gets to no the Cullens?
1. Prologue

**A/N: This isn't my first fanfic, the first one was a one-shot, and I deleted it because I thought it was stupid. So I'm gonna try again and if this doesn't work then I'll just stick to reading. So this is just the prologue, I'll have the first chapter up soon, tell me what u think and don't hold back.**

****DarkAngel****

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**Forgotten Soul**

**Rated: T**

**Prologue**

I always thought of how my life would end, but never given any thought to the life I could have if I got my head out of my ass and just looked around at what I had. Instead, I dwell on what I have lost... everything. NO... always thinking "what if", what if I just stepped in front of that speeding car, I'm sure my pain would have ended, or what if I didn't make it an accident? What if I just did it, just picked up a damn knife a just did it, but no... I was to much of a coward to do anything. But now, looking up into his eyes..... I'm glad I was to scared to do anything.

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**A/N: Hope u lik it.**

**Thanks 4 reading. Please review.**

****DarkAngel****


	2. New Home

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**A/N: Hay, well this is this first chapter, so tell me if u like it.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, just borrowing it fro SM.**

****DarkAngel****

**Forgotten Soul**

**Rated: T**

**New Home**

One year, it's been one year since they were murdered. One year since I had even a bit of hope. One year since my life started its downward spiral. Now, to make my situation even worse, I'm sitting in this stuffy car with this old, hateful, pudgy women, who could not for the life of her, stop complaining. Mostly about me, my posture, how I never talked, my clothes, how she hated my name, just anything she could find. HA! Now she's just murmuring about the freaking constant rain and cold. Well, news flash lady, you're not the one that has to live here. God she was so annoying, all she did was bitch, and whine, and compla….

"Bella…" Mrs. Smith's squeaky voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Were you even listening to me?" She growled out, anger and annoyance evident in her voice. I didn't answer, just stared at her with the blank expressionless mask I had created over the years.

She huffed in exasperation, "I said, we are almost there…." I didn't really understand, I had forgotten why we were actually here in the dreadful, rainy town. I tended to block out most of everything now days. By then I guess I had waited too long to answer her, because when I glanced up she was glaring at me and gripping the steering wheel so hard her knuckles had turned white.

"You never listen to a word I say, I will repeat myself once more, we are almost to your new home. I expect you be polite, sit up straight, listen to him when he speaks, and by no means are you ever to be disrespectful to him as you were with your other caretakers."

"So help me God, if you are you will go straight back into that dreadful foster home, and you will not hear from me again, are we clear?"

I had long ago turned away to stare at the window, trying to ignore her rant.

"ARE WE CLEAR ISABELLA???!"

I turned to her glaring and clenching my jaw as I tried so hard to not say what I was thinking. All the while gripping the sides of my seat trying not to deck the old hag. I guess she took that as a yes (which was far from the truth) because she turned and looked ahead. She didn't move or say anything for a few seconds, then she bent down to turn on the radio, suddenly there was some kind of old country kinda folk music blasting from the speakers. I just got my I-pod out, shoved the ear buds in, turned it to Tokio Hotel, and turned the volume all the way up.

Finally we pulled up to an old white house, the paint was chipping and it was a two story house that looked like it would fall in on itself in a matter of seconds. I turned my music down and got out. The first thing I heard when I got out was the old hag yelling at me to take the ear phones out and behave. I wrapped up my I-pod and shoved it in my jacket pocket and followed her to the door. When she knocked a man answered. He was probably a few inches taller than me, had brown hair and a mustache. He had a small awkward smile plastered on his face. "You must be Mrs. Smith and Isabella, please, come in," he said as he stepped aside and opened the door wider.

"Ahh, Chief Swan, nice to see you again," Mrs. Smith said in an overly joyful voice.

"Please, call me Charlie," he said as they both sat down, him in a chair by the TV, leaving me to sit next to the witch. After a second of thought I decided to remain standing looking down at my biological father.

Yes, Charlie was my biological father, even though this is the first time I've ever met him. My mother, Renee, never liked to talk about him; she told me when I was thirteen that Phil was not my father. She left Charlie when she was a few weeks pregnant, but at the time she didn't know. She said I had a right to know, she never told me much about him or where he lived, only that I acted a lot like him. She also said that when I was older that I could see him if I wanted, but I never brought it up. I liked things how they were, before it happened. It's been one year but it seems so much longer now.

"Don't you want to sit down?" I was glad for the interruption on my thoughts.

I looked up and shook my head, I hadn't talked much since I was put in the foster home, it took them one year to locate him, and sign the paperwork. Since he had given up all rights to me before I was born he had to adopt me. He didn't even ask for visitation rights.

It was getting late, and I was getting sleepy. I still needed to unpack what little I had and take a shower, so I ask if I could go up to my room. Charlie, of course said yes, and Mrs. Smith just gave me a disapproving glare.

Most of my stuff had been shipped over here. I only had a carry-on of stuff that was important to me.

I unpacked most of my clothes and took a shower. After that I just lay in bed staring at the ceiling, tomorrow was my first day at Forks High School. Great, more people to ignore. I knew it was going toh6tg be a long day.

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**A/N: Thanks 4 reading, hope u liked it!**

**Reveiw please.**

****DarkAngel****

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	3. First Day of Hell

**A/N: Hay, I'm sorry it took so long, I wanted to have at least 2 chapters a week, That's what I'm gonna try to reach. I hope you enjoy it.**

****DarkAngel****

**Disclaimer: This belongs to Stephenie Meyer. **

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**Forgotten Soul**

**Rated: T**

**First Day of Hell**

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock blaring, I looked over and it was 5:30. I don't remember setting it last night, Charlie must have. Great, now I'm gonna have to get a new lock for my door. I jumped out of bed, grabbed my bag of toiletries and went through my usual routine, except this time, instead of taking a short-ass 10 minuet shower like back in the home- cause there were so many kids to a bathroom- I stayed in there till the water ran cold, and then some. I had time, seeing as I was woken up at this ungodly hour. By the time I got out I was a freaking prune, I had been in there over 45 minutes. I skipped breakfast and was out the door around 6:30. I had to walk to school since I didn't have a car. Charlie left a little hand drawn map for me to get to school, if I could actually read his chicken-scratch. Great, I'm gonna be late for my first day of hell.

As I predicted, I was late, I was half way through the parking-lot when the final bell rang. I started running to the office, which wasn't a very good idea seeing as it ended with my face meeting the ground in a most unwelcomed way.

Damn that hurt! I picked myself up off the ground, dusted myself off, and made my way to the office without any more harm. I walked in the warm building and walked up to the desk. There was a little old lady sitting at the desk with grey hair and a wide smile on her face.

"Hello, you must be Isabella." She said in a tiny but sweet voice, that you would expect in a cute little cartoon lady.

"Just Bella, please." For some reason I couldn't be my normally non-talkative bitch self towards her, it wasn't her fault my life was hell.

"Okay, her you go sweetie. There's your schedule, a paper for each of your teachers to sign, and a map to the school. You best be off now you're already late for class." She said as she shooed me off.

I walked out and sat on a bench near the office entrance to look over my schedule and the map. I quickly glanced at the paper my teachers were supposed to sign, it was only to make sure I got there and was on time. I then looked at my schedule;

**1****st****- English,**

**2****nd****- Art,**

**3****rd****- Civics,**

**Lunch,**

**4****th****- Chemistry,**

**5****th****- Algebra,**

**6****th****- P.E**

Great, P.E, my favorite subject. God, by the end of this year I bet I'll have had a few broken bones and a couple of law suits on top of that. This was going to be the best freaking high school experience ever, actually the only high school experience I've had been home schooled from 7th grade because some idiot beat me up and Renee thought it appropriate to take me out all together.

Looking at the map in hand, I made my way to 1st period English. When I walked in everyone was staring at me like they've never seen a new student before. Maybe they thought I ditch since its half way through class. Hell if I knew, I just hope they will get tired of gawking at one person. I handed the slip of paper to the teacher.

"Class, this is our new student Isabella Swan, I expect you to be on your best behavior and help her get around the school if need be." She said with an overabundance of false joy. Most of the class just looked annoyed, some looked overjoyed, especially this one kid with shaggy blond hair, blue eyes, and boyish features. He smiled up at me with a look that unnerved me and slightly pissed me off. And guess what, surprise! I was assigned to sit next to him.

"Hi, I'm Mike, your Isabella, right?" He said after turning his chair to face mine. Could this boy get any denser, I mean the teacher just announced that.

"Just Bella." I said, not taking my eyes off the board.

After that he tried talking again, but I just ignored him until the bell rang. I was the first one out of class, I walked briskly through the hale ignoring the stares and whispers, even my name being called from down the hall, I just kept walking down the hall.

The next two classes passed with much of the same thing. In civics I was invited to sit with a girl named Jessica, she seemed nice but fake. I hated girls like that; all they did was pretend to care about what you say then, without warning all your secrets are spreading around like wild fire. Of course I declined that offer and sought out an empty, secluded table in the far corner of the cafeteria. The only other table close to me was also vacant. So I took out a I-Pod, my sandwich I had made this morning, and my Amp-I had to have my Amp, Don't care what anyone says- and pushed my chair back on two legs.

After I had finished a few minutes later, I sat there and just looked around at everyone, I had just glanced at the door when it opened and in stepped the five most beautiful people I have ever set my eyes on. Four walked in hand and hand with one trailing behind.

The first two consisted of a tall blonde boy with baby blue eyes and a calm look set on his face, the other was a petite girl with spiky black hair and light brown eyes, she also resembled a very hyper pixie. The next two was a very large man with short, brown, curly hair with dark brown eyes. The only thing that kept me from cowering at the sight of him was the carefree look on his face, and the dimples that appeared every time he smiled, which was a lot. The one beside him looked just like the blond boy, must be twins. She was also tall and blond with baby blue eyes. The last one was…..indescribably beautiful. He had unruly bronze hair, I mean it stuck up in every direction, but still it looked….. God! I can't even describe his hair. But even more breathtaking than that, were his bright emerald eyes. The most beautiful green I had ever seen. Everyone in this room paled in comparison to him….. Wait! Why are they coming over here??!

Consumed in my thoughts I hadn't noticed there direction, they were heading straight for me. When they got here the pixie smiled down at me.

"Hi, my names' Alice Cullen, this is Jasper Hale,"- she pointing at the blond boy by her side-"Emmett Cullen, Rosalie Hale," She said while pointing at the over grown man and the tall blond. "And Edward Cullen." She said pointing to the gorges bronze haired boy.

"Hi, I'm Bella?" It came out more as a question, it sounded so stupid.

"Yes, you are, and you're also sitting at our normal table." Alice said as she continued to stare at me with a smile.

"Ohh, I'm sorry" I said while getting up. She just put a hand on my shoulder and pushed me back down.  
"No, no, no. There are enough chairs for all of us." She said as she sat down beside me.

"Ya squirt, relax, we don't bite… much." Emmett laughed; I just raised an eyebrow at him and smiled.

We talked some, well mostly they talked and I listened. I found out that Jasper and Rosalie were twins, and they were all adopted by Dr. Carlisle Cullen and his wife Esme Cullen. But for some reason the one I wanted to hear the most didn't talk, Edward just stared at me. I couldn't quite place his expression, but if I had to say, it was like annoyance-which I get a lot of those looks- mixed with anger and……respect, Hell if I know that boy was weird.

After lunch we all said goodbye and I said I would site with them again tomorrow. I started walking down the hallway to my next class, biology. After a few seconds I noticed that Edward was following me,_ maybe his class is close to mine_, I thought. That is until he walked in the class behind me and went to an empty seat. I was kinda relieved that there would be a familiar face-well, almost familiar-but at the same time pissed that it had to Edward--who seemed to already not like me for some reason, I wasn't bitchy or anything, I haven't even said one word directed to him—and not Alice or one of the others.

I went up to the teacher with the note. He seemed decent enough, that is until he directed me to a lad table in the middle of the classroom, right by Edward Cullen. I sat down going to ignore him for the whole class, and then I happened to hear his scooting over the floor. Thinking he was just getting as far away from me the table would allow, I peeked from the corner of me eye. What I didn't expect was to see him turned towered me, and a few inches closer than he was before.

He saw me looking and gave me a halfhearted smile. I turned my head in his direction with a questioning glance.

"Umm... Hello, I'm sorry I was so rude at lunch. I never got to formally introduce myself, I'm Edward Cullen." He said looking unsure of his self. _What don't know your own name?_ I forced a small smile.

"I'm Bella Swan, but you probably know that by now." I was done talking, so I faced the front, leaned back in my chair and put on my carefully constructed mask and stared blankly at the board. Edward shifted in his seat but I didn't turn to look, it was perfectly clear I did not want to talk, and I'm glad he noticed.

After that nothing really happened, I went to the rest of my classes. Thank God the P.E teacher let me sit out today, so no injuries. I drove home, fixed dinner early and put it in the microwave so Charlie can get some, I also left him a note telling him about dinner and I was headed to bed early. Then I went and sulked in my room, not falling asleep until around ten.

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**Hoped you liked it,  
my cat's sitting on my arm right now so it's getting harder to type,  
review please.**

****DarkAngel****


	4. It Ends Tonight

**A/N: Once again sorry it's kinda late, I dnt keep track of days very well, I dnt even no the last time I posted, I no it wasn't that long ago but watev. Thanks for reading.**

****DarkAngel****

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**Forgotten Soul**

**Rated: T**

**It Ends Tonight**

Once again I awoke to my alarm clock, and once again I need to get a damn lock for my door. I got up, did my normal routine, and decided to get some breakfast. After I was finished and washed the dishes I looked at the clock. Shit! Its 7:45 I'm gonna be late again. I slung my knapsack over my shoulder and walked out the door. After I had locked up I turned to begin my long walk to school and then stopped in my tracks. There was a yellow car, I didn't know what kind but it looked expensive, who could afford such a thing in the town? Just as that thought escaped me a little pixie head stuck out the driver side window.

"Come on, I know we're early but hurry there gonna bet us, just get in no questions." Alice said while revving the engine.

"But I…"

"NO! Get in now or we loss twenty bucks." I smiled weakly and got in the back seat.

"Thanks, but why did you go out of your way to pick me up if you're in a race?" I said as I gave Rosalie a small wave.

"Cause we're friends, that's what friends do." Now that struck a fucking cord.

_**(Flashback)**_

_  
"Hay mommy, when's the new the new babysitter gonna be here?" The little, brown haired girl said as she twisted her Rubik cube that she thought she would never solve. _

"_In a few minutes honey, we're fixing to leave after your father finishes getting ready." Her mother said as she hurried with her earrings, she had just finished putting her coat on when there was a knock at the door. She walked over and opened the door._

"_Hello, you must be James, Bella's new babysitter." The woman said as she let James in. Bella scowled down at her cube. She didn't need a babysitter, she was no baby; she was 7, almost 8 years old. She could use a microwave to heat up food if she got hungry. She knew how to start her bath and brush her teeth; she also knew what her bed time was. Why does she have to have help with any of this?_

"_Umm, Ya?" It came out more as a question than an answer._

"_Alright this is Bella, Bella this is James." She turned back to him._

"_I'm sorry we didn't get to talk… Oh, how rude of me, I'm Renee and this is my husband Phil." She said as Phil walked into the room fixing his tie._

"_Are you ready to go?" Phil asked._

"_Yes dear, now Bella be good, I love you, and I will see you it the morning." Renee bent down and gave Bella a kiss on the forehead and walked out the door._

"_Bye Bella, love you." Phil said closely behind his wife and shut the door._

"_So… bed time is not for another two hours, what do you want to do till then?" James asked Bella as she sat playing with her Rubik Cube and ignoring him. After a few minutes she got angry and threw the Cube down. James bent down and picked up the Cube smiling at the annoyed, little girl._

"_May I?" He asked holding up the puzzle. She just shrugged and scowled up at him. He smiled again and turned his attention to the thing in his hand. His brow furrowed in concentration as he turned and twisted the Cube a few minutes until all the colors matched up._

"_There you go." James said when he finished._

"_H-how'd you do that, and so fast?" Bella asked in astonishment._

"_Well its easier in you match the corners up first than you do the middle, like this." He then messed the Cube up and showed her what he was talking about. When he was finished for the second time he handed the Rubik Cube back to her._

"_Wow! Thanks!"_

"_Well, that's what friends do. Right Bells?" _

"_Ya, I guess so."_

_**(End of Flashback)**_

"Hay, Bella, where're here. We beat them by a mile." Alice said pulling me from my thoughts. We all got out and waited for the boys to get out.

"Hay Bells!" Emmett said when he stopped walking.

"Please don't call me that." No one has called me that in a very long time, and I don't want to be called that now, not after him.

"Umm, sorry Bella." Emmett said looking very confused. I looked around at all of them and they were all kinda looking at me weird, especially Edward. I frowned down at my feet, I guess I over reacted a little. I looked back up and smiled.

"I'm sorry, I just don't like that name." Emmett smiled up at me, forgetting it ever happened.

"Well, looks like where're the first ones here, what should we do?" Emmett said with a mischievous smile.

"Oh no, here we go again." Jasper said laughing. I wonder what he was talking about. I guess he saw my confusion and decided to emphasize.

"We race a lot; therefore we get here earlier than most teachers and students. We have five to ten minute before the parking lot begins to fill up, sometimes more. We get board fast, sometimes we do unfinished homework or study for test, other times we just hang out and talk. But on special occasions we pull some stupid little prank that gets the teachers and students riled up for a day or two, nothing really big: stink bombs-there pretty regular- paint balloons, deflate all the basketballs, just little things like that.

"Most of the special occasion stuff we get her when it's still dark out so no one sees us. Except this one time were we took all the chairs and smaller furniture and put it on the roof then super glued the lock to the roof so they couldn't get them, we started at midnight and almost didn't get done in time. But no one suspects us since we stick to our selves and don't cause trouble."

I was impressed to say the least. Cars started pulling in and I guess today was just a talk and hang out day.

"Okay, you're still sitting with us at lunch and meet us here after school and we could go to the mall or we could just go back home and hang out or we could…."

"Or… you could take me home and then do whatever." I suggested interrupting Alice.

"Well that's no fun silly, Ok, our house it is, see you at lunch, bye." She walked of before I could say anything.

"It's better if you just go along with her, she can be pretty persuasive if you know what I mean." Emmett said patting me on the back almost making me fall over.

"No, I don't know what you mean, but thanks anyways." I gave him a little smile and walked to my class.

The day went by in a blur, lunch we didn't do much except talk and this weird guy keep staring at me, and for some reason Edward keep glaring right back at the kid, Mike, I think is his name, he is in like three of my classes.

It was the same thing as yesterday when the bell rang except when I sat down in class Edward didn't try to talk to me; he just got out his binder and started taking notes. Half way through class I was bored to death, a piece of paper hit my arm, I raised my head off the desk and looked at it. It was just a folded piece of paper, I looked up at Edward since it came from his direction, he was look at the broad then he glanced at me and inclined his head towards the paper. I opened the note up and it read:

**R u ok?  
****Ya, why shouldn't I be?  
****I don't no u look kinda sick, just wondering.  
****Thanks u dnt look that bad ur self asshole!  
****Ugh, I didn't mean it in a bad way I guess u just look tired, sry.  
****Watev, hay why were u glaring daggers at that guy during lunch, dnt get me wrong, it was funny.  
****I didn't like the way he was looking at you.  
****And u care y?**

The bell rang right as I handed the note back to Edward, he put it in his backpack and smiled saying bye and walked out of the room. The rest of the day was very boring; I even fell asleep in algebra and almost missed the homework assignment. When I got to Alice's car everyone was already there.

"Ok, do you want to go by your house first and drop your stuff off or just go straight to our house?" Alice asked jumping up and down. I hated to upset her but I had a lot to do tonight.

"Alice, can we do this tomorrow or some other time, I have some stuff to take care of and Charlie is coming home early so I got to get dinner out of the way." Alice was frowning up at me.

"What do you have to do?" She asked me, of course.

"I've got to get a lock for my door."

"Why do you need a lock?"

"Long story short, I like my privacy."

"Well we can drive you to the store."

"No, its ok I can walk it's not that far."

"We drive right past it going to your house anyway so it's no big deal." She said with authority in her voice, like that could make me listen.

"Fine, but we are there for the lock only nothing else, I go in get it and we leave, okay?" Alice grumbled out a fine and Emmett chuckled.

Just like I said, I ran in the store, got the lock, and walked out. They dropped me off at home and I thanked them.

"Edward, Jasper, and me will pick you up in the Volvo tomorrow, so be ready to go at 7:20 sharp." Alice said driving off, once again leaving me no time to protest.

I finished my algebra homework while I cooked diner. I got a plate, ate and went upstairs grabbing my new lock. After I got the lock on I smiled triumphantly.

"This shit ends tonight." I locked my door and turned around setting the screwdriver down and got ready for bed. Tomorrow I will talk to Edward, try to have a real conversation with him. Those where my last thoughts before I feel asleep.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading I hope u liked it,  
Review please.**

****DarkAngel**** **  
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	5. Crash and Burn

**A/N: I keep forgetting to put disclaimers on the chapters so if I do I still have one on my page, anyway, thanks for reading, hope you like it.**

****DarkAngel****

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**Forgotten Soul**

**Rated: T**

**Crash and Burn**

God I hate the cold. That's the first thing I woke up to since I had not set my alarm, I guess the lock worked again, I wonder when he's going to get tired of the lock and just kick the damn door down, or at least bring it up in a conversation. It's been over a week since I put it on and he hasn't said a thing about it. It's now the second Friday that I've been here and now that I've been avoiding hanging out with the Cullen's, Alice is making me spend the night over at her house. When I said no she ask Charlie and even said the boys were going camping this week to convince him, he said it be a good idea since he's going fishing with his friend Billy Black.

I looked at my clock and it was 6:30, I had time for a shower thank God, I didn't take one last night. I went through my normal morning routine-Note to self: change up your routine once in a while- and went outside to wait for Alice.

It wasn't long before they got here; I headed towards the driver side intending to get in the back until Alice's head popped out the backseat window.

"Nope, you get to sit up front." She said smiling a smile that said 'I know something you don't know'.

"I thought you were driving."

"Just get in the car." She commanded me pulling her head back and rolling up the window.

As I was walking around the car, being me of course slipped and fell strait on my ass. I could hear the laughter emanating from the car.

With what dignity I had left, I pulled myself up and got in the passenger side. Looking over I saw Edward was driving; he glanced over smiling crookedly at me, _God that's hot…. _Wait, WHAT THE HELL did I just think? He smiled even bigger; did I say that out loud? I looked around really quick, no one was laughing thank God. I looked back at Edward and he turned his head forward and started backing out of the driveway.

"Ok, did you ask your da…. I mean Charlie about hanging out with us after school?" Alice caught herself after I glared at her; I had already told them he was NOT my father. I didn't tell them why I don't consider him my father, no one in Forks knows why I'm here, or even that Chief Swan had a daughter, and that's the way I'd like to keep it.

"No, I usually don't see him in the mornings, but he won't care. I don't think he will, whatever." I said while we pulled into the parking lot.

"So, is that a yes?"

"I guess." I said as I got out of the car. I looked over and saw Emmett jogging over to us with Rosalie in tow.

"Hay guys, we beat you so bad, you got crust, squashed, burned and ashes scattered in the ocean, YAY."

"……………………………WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WAS THAT?" Rose yelled as we all burst into laughter.

"God you are so dense sometimes Em." Jasper got out in between laughs. I seriously think I'm crying, God that was so stupid.

"What I'm just saying." He said in his defense. We were almost to the door when I realized something.

"Hay, I'll be right back, I left my backpack in the car." I said making my way back to the car.

I walked slowly, careful not to trip again. When I finally made it to the car, got my backpack and was walking back I noticed three things: one, they had all waited for me, two Edward was running towered me with a horrified expression, and three as I turned I found out why he looked so scared.

There was a van spinning out on the ice and headed straight for me. My legs locked up and I couldn't move even if I wanted to….. Which… I don't think I wanted to. I didn't feel scared, I felt kinda… relaxed, and like I knew what was to come wouldn't be that bad, because then I'd be with them again. I think I smiled a little with that thought, But that smile quickly vanished When it was a few seconds till impact. Didn't I want this, something that I was too afraid to do on my own? Why is this happening now? I had nothing to live for, only memories of the ones I loved. Then I thought of something, maybe I did have something to live for, I had friends, and Charlie, I was just being selfish wanting to throw that away. And then I started crying, because it was too late, I closed my eyes and waited for the van to crush me.

Then it hit me. I landed on my back with a hard thud, and then I heard metal crunching against metal. I opened my eyes to see Edward lying on top of me; he had pushed me out of the way. He rose up, his hands on either side of my head; he looked me over making sure I was alright, when he knew I was fine he exhaled a sigh of relief. But his expression soon turned to one of fury and then he started screaming at me I closed my eyes, although I don't blame him. I had ample time to get out of the van's path.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY, YOU COULD OF….. You could of die Bella. Did you want it to hit you?" His voice faded at the end and he said it like he was in tears, then I felt something wet drop onto my cheek. I looked up and sure enough he was crying right along with me, and that just made me cry harder.

"At...At first." I confirmed his suspicions. And that just made me fucking bawl. I felt him pull me up and rap his arms around me as I ruined his shirt. About a minute later I felt him lift me up to my feet and pull back a little to look at my face while I felt a few hands start rubbing my back until Edward started to pull me back towards the car.

"Come on, let's go home and talk about this, Carlisle and Esme aren't there." Edward said as he opened the passenger side door for me to get. When he got in and pulled out of the parking space I asked about Alice and Jasper.

"There riding with Em and Rose." Silence overtook the car for about five minutes before Edward turned his head slightly to look at me.

"Are you alright?" I nodded afraid if I spoke that I would start crying again, and I never cry, especially in front of others.

But I felt safe with Edward and not the least bit ashamed for crying in front of him, or on him. Maybe it's because we had gotten closer over this last week, closer than I intended to get to anyone. I had actually told him of my mom and Phil's death and why I don't think of Charlie as my father. I haven't even told the authorities the story with that much detail, I just stated who killed them and why. Nothing more even though they keep me coming back to that same room for questioning for five days, they were lucky to even get that out of me.

"Why…"He cleared his throat and slowed the car down to a stop pulling up by the curb, letting Emmett pass us, he cleared his throat again and sighed.

"Why did you want the van to hit you?" His words came out in a rush as did all the air in my lungs. I couldn't tell him, he'd think I'm a completely and totally fucked-up and never speak to me again, or he'd save his self the trouble of seeing my face again and just call the white coats and very big needles to take me away. But a lot of people are suicidal; people commit or attempt it every day. Well I wouldn't call myself suicidal, maybe a wanabe suicidal, or even a wanabe void-of-all-emotions kinda person. But the way my mother raised me, I knew I wouldn't ever do anything.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He said and gave me a few minutes to answer if I wanted to. With a sigh he reached for the ignition.

"I don't really know, maybe because I want to give up, maybe because ever since they were murdered I've wanted to be with them, but being too scared that I wouldn't end up with them.  
In my thoughts….. That van… Was the only way for me to be with them quick. But then… I don't know, I just… I don't know, I got scared." I didn't turn to see his reaction; I didn't want to see the disgust or pity in his eyes. I went for the door handle.

"I'll walk." When I had the door open and was stepping out I felt a hand on my arm restrain me.

"Bella get back in the car." I did as he said, his voice was serious and it scared me a little.

"Look at me." He said sill having a firm grip on my upper arm. I glanced sideways and quickly turned back, the look he had was a mix of anger, hurt, and something else I couldn't quiet place. He exhaled an angry breath and with the hand he wasn't using to hold me in the car with, grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. It was kinda uncomfortable for my neck so I ended up turning my whole body towards him.

"I'm not disgusted with you. I won't pity you. I am a little angry at you, but you are my friend. And my friendship is something you will NEVER lose. I can see it in your eyes that your ashamed, don't be. Nothing you say to me or do with me should make you feel ashamed." Edward was right; I shouldn't feel ashamed; not with him.

"I know." He smiled at me.

"Then stop blushing." He challenged, which made me blush even more, I didn't even know I was blushing before, _crap, go away you stupid blush._ Great, now he's laughing at me.

"Stop laughing at me."

"I'm sorry, do you want to go? I can tell the others not to ask any questions, if you want." He said after he stopped laughing. I nodded my head.

"That would be nice; I just don't want….Huh... I just don't feel like telling anyone else." I said, I felt really bad, they were my friends and I should be able to at least tell them that my parents were dead, I didn't have to tell them how.

"Okay, so off we go." He smiled and started the car.

"So… what do you want to do tomorrow, Charlie said you would be staying the whole weekend and Alice has claimed you Sunday for shopping, so I was wondering If you wanted to hangout tomorrow just me and you… I mean if only if you want since Alice is going out with Jasper for their anniversary."

"Anniversary?"

"Yah, Alice is big on that kinda stuff. First it was every week they had gone out, then every month, Now it's been almost two years now." He said with a shrug of his shoulders like it was no big deal to him.

"Cool, so…"

"Ohh, wait, do you have your cloths and stuff?"

"No, can you take me to my house real quick?"

"Umm, Yah just let me turn around." He turned the car around and headed to my house. It wasn't long before we reached my street and pulled into my drive way.

"Uhh… you gonna come in or are you gonna wait out here?" I headed toward the front door and heard him turn the car off and get out. I reached up to the awning and grabbed the spare key to unlock the door, since I left my key in my jeans pocket last night.

"You know anyone could be watching you right now" His voice was right by my ear and in made me jump like three feet in the air, I did not know he was that close. He started laughing at me; I just took my fist and rammed it back into his stomach. God that hurt, he's hard as stone he must work out like fifteen days a week. Must have not hurt HIM that bad, because all he did was stumble back trying to get away from me, tripped, landed on his ass, and laughed even harder.

"Okay, Okay, I jumped like three feet in the air, not tat funny."

"No, but what is funny is that little bee sting punch you got going on there." He laughed even harder, now I wish I could punch harder. I huffed and walked through the door hearing him get up and fallow me sill chuckling a little. I went up stairs and first got my toiletries and went to my room to get my clothes. When I entered I saw Edward lying on my bed, on his back, with his eyes closed.

I went over to my dresser and started to get my clothes out.

"Hay, do I have time for a shower?" I ask turning to look at him. He opened his eyes and propped his self up on his elbows.

"You know we have showers at our house, right?"

"Yah, but I would feel more comfortable over here." I said looking down at my feet. Why was I acting like this, I didn't have to ask it's my house, he can wait or leave.

"Whatever, but Alice is gonna have both our asses if we wait any longer."

"Well, she'll have to wait in line, cause' there are a lot of people in front of her that want my ass too. Oh and make yourself comfortable I'll be out in a few." I grabbed a towel and my cloths and headed to take a quick shower.

Once I was out and dried my hair, I walked in my room to once again, find Edward in my bed. Oh, great he's asleep. I ran and jumped on the bed making him jump and shriek like a little girl. I feel to my side laughing and he was glaring holes through my head.

"That's not funny Isabella!!"

"Y-You sc-scream like a girl." I laughed. He smirked at me, Oh Crap. He pounced on me and started tickling my sides; I just screamed and laughed even harder.

" Stop!" I managed to squeak out.

"Now who's screaming like a girl?" he stopped and let me breathe.

"Asshole!" I choked out.

"That's what you get for waking me up and then laughing at my unusually high pitched shriek."

"That's nice… now can you please get off of me?" He stuttered out a yes and got up pulling me up with him. He grabbed my bag, smiled at me and headed down the stairs without another word and I followed him out the door and into the car. This is going to be an interesting weekend.

* * *

**A/N: There's another chapter, thanks for reading.  
Review please.**

****DarkAngel** **


	6. AN: Sorry

**A/N: I am so so so so so so soooo sorry that I haven't updated and that this isn't a new chapter but I haven't had time to update and when I finally get to sit down and tried to type my stupid computer crashes and I lose everything (but that was kinda my fault on the account of I accidently downloaded java city off of a pop-up ad) sorry. But, because of finals and all that, I probably won't update till this summer. I promise if I get the time in between studying I will type some but I can't promise that I will post before summer and there's only 2 more weeks till then so the first day I get out my ass will be glued to the chair and I won't get up till I type like 500 chapters. (ok I exaggerated maybe 2 or 3) So that's all I got 2 say really.  
Thanks 4 reading and once again I'm so so sorry.**

****DarkAngel** **


	7. AN: Sorry Again

**A/N: I am so so sry I haven't updated and this isn't a new chapter, I got freakin robbed, they took all our electronics including my computer, I am so sry. I'm at my friend's and she's letting me write this, I don't no when I'll get to update again I am so sry.**

**This A/N and the other will be deleted when I post.**

****DarkAngel****


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